Workplace relationships are important. People are social creatures. We therefore need to be able to relate to the people that we work with. If our work relationships are poor – and we spend most of our life at work. It stands to reason that our general happiness will suffer.
Related articles:
Diversity in the workplace: https://wowza.blog/?p=218&preview=true
Workplace Etiquette: https://wowza.blog/?p=222
How to find the person who can help you get ahead at work: https://www.ted.com/talks/carla_harris_how_to_find_the_person_who_can_help_you_get_ahead_at_work?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Relationships as Currency
Besides the emotional peace we get from settled relationships around us – in the workplace – relationships are capital. Relationships can get you into the circle of trust and influence within your organization. Being outside such circles makes you a perpetual outsider. Always on the backfoot of most decisions taken!
Relationships are currency in the work environment. Much professional success owes to relationships that were cultivated and nurtured during the course of one’s career. What I mean by currency, is that relationships can be used to obtain introductions, and information etc. Such introductions and information that are valuable to advance your career.
Relationships will afford you the leverage to manage risks and solve problems. A strategic relationship can provide the support you need to execute a task at your best. Relationships will afford you the flexibility to change jobs and build your career. For example, someone may help you land a better or more enjoyable position within the company. Or even outside your current company.
Mentors & Sponsors
It is very important to find mentors and sponsors, both within and outside your organization. Mostly, institutional relationships are left to the personal connections of individuals. Researchers have found, time and again, that having someone more senior and powerful rooting for you, is strongly connected to surviving and thriving in the corporate jungle.
A sponsor is someone with power, who has enough clout to make things happen in the organization. A mentor is someone more experienced than you, who may not have much influence in the organization. A mentor can share their skill and knowledge( and wisdom) to help you grow professionally. A sponsor can remove obstacles to your professional growth.
Competition & Work Relationships
Forming genuine relationships can be challenging at work, because of the competitive environment. It’s important to be careful of sharing confidences with colleagues. Your secret(s) may be betrayed, in the competition for favor and promotion. Sometimes cliques will form. Such cliques monopolize their source of privilege, by keeping others out. It is for this reason that toxic colleagues will try to control how others perceive you, to curb your popularity. This is to hurt your brand, and keep you outside of the power cliques. That way, nobody of consequence will want to back you, if your reputation is already tarnished.
So how does one connect, without getting too close as to share personal secrets? How does one open up to relationships, while protecting themselves from competitive sabotage? It is a tricky situation to handle. One just has to be discerning. It will take some practice. It is better to form relationships around the work, initially. Later on, as you get to know the people around you – it will be easier to tell who you can trust with discussing other things besides work. At work, as in Life, there will be people with bad intentions.
Relationships Challenges as Growth
Relationships are always challenging, even with our nearest and dearest. So there will be ups and downs with work relationships too. It is important to keep a healthy perspective in the face of challenges, and remember that not everything is about you. No matter how good your relationship currency is – sometimes a decision made by superiors will put you on the back foot. Those superiors may have been faced with worse choices – and were not concerned with putting you at a disadvantage. It just happens that some decisions will not favor you, regardless.
Other times, you could be facing relationship challenges with colleagues so unbearable, that you consider leaving. Consider that it might be the hand of God putting you at a disadvantage – in order to force you, to look at other avenues that may be more suitable for you. I’s important to always keep an open mind.
A challenging situation will work best for you if you keep emotions in check. It’s also a great idea to always follow procedure, to get any grievances addressed. The HR department will advise you on the best procedure, formal or informal.
Should the time come that you have to leave an organization, whether because you were unhappy or simply found a better opportunity – it is important to leave gracefully. Preferably without burning bridges. Not under a cloud of unresolved issues, either. Remember that you need to protect your image/reputation, in the industry. Graceful exits can preserve what relationships you made – and also protect future relationships you will still form in the future.
Perception affects Relationships
To form good relationships, one needs to be perceived in a good light. There is a phrase that goes ‘Perception Is Reality’ – and this phrase is very true in the workplace. How one is perceived, is what one is. At least in the minds of the people around them! It is every individual’s responsibility to manage how they are perceived.
It is important to be mindful of how you come across in what you say. Sometimes it’s not even what was said, but how it was understood!
If someone gets the wrong idea about your actions, be quick to correct the misunderstanding. Some people may misrepresent you, and deliberately twist your intentions. Even when someone twists or misrepresents your actions – it is important to set the record straight, as promptly and as civilly as is humanly possible.
It may not be clear to you at first, but as you grow in your career, you will realize how small a world it is. Many people know each other and can easily source information about your behavior and your ‘image’. How you are perceived(whether true or false) will become your reality – as your reputation follows you everywhere in your career.
Promote yourself
With respect to work, the best need to stand out from the crowd, with their strengths. Your line manager must know when you have achieved a noteworthy accomplishment. Make sure to raise the topic of your accomplishment during one-on-one meetings with him/her. If a client writes to thank you, as you reply to the client, you may want to copy your line manager in. Perhaps also loop in your mentor and your sponsor in that communication. This does not have to be done in a rude or obnoxious fashion. Just gently get important stakeholders to take note. Otherwise, it gets easy for everyone to take you for granted, while you quietly slave away, solving big problems – unseen and unrewarded. The ones who know how to manage their brand will keep stepping over you and getting recognition and promotion. This will make you bitter in the end, if left unmanaged.
Leverage your personality
Being an introvert will put you at a slight disadvantage, as current business culture values extroversion. Extroverts are the people who speak up and collaborate over every little thing. If you are an introvert, you likely prefer to work quietly in your own corner. You also will not like to share your ideas/(collaborate) until you are sure of them, eventually. As an introvert, you can make yourself visible in other ways. You could volunteer to make a presentation during a meeting, on a subject that you are good at. Volunteer to help organize the Christmas party or coach some interns when you have some time. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, try and say something in meetings, however small. It is not a good idea to be too silent.
Build those relationships
Of course, e want to build all sorts of relationships with the people we work with. Not just strategic relationships that we hope to get something out of. Sometimes yo will make lifelong friends with a colleague, without looking to advance your career. This is a good thing, just to get along with some people in your field.
The more strategic relationships, including mentors and sponsors, will take a bit more intentional planning, as well as time invested in engaging. Ideally, you want to establish relationships that are meaningful and based on common interests, even with important stakeholders. Many a blunder can come out of trying to be something you are not, just to impress people!
I wish you luck, as you work on building trust with your colleagues and as you address relationship issues. May the high trust you build help to improve communication, collaboration, and execution.