A Narcissist is a person who is selfish and self-absorbed.  Everybody can be narcissistic sometimes.   When the behavior is habitual and extreme – it is termed a narcissistic personality disorder.

 

Related Links:

How To Handle Narcissists:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwtwnIxSO9s

Narcissists’ Favorite Arguments: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAmYQECe2YQ

Office Politics: https://wowza.blog/?p=226

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

NPD is short for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  This personality disorder renders a person very selfish, toxic, and difficult to deal with.  NPD is very topical in pop psychology lately.  This is because NPD is reportedly on the rise in recent years.  Experts suggest that this may be because of the rise in an individualistic culture.  The prevalence of social media also seems to have contributed to this trend.

 

NPD is not confined to the workplace.  Toxic people are everywhere:  at home, at work and at play.  We have all come across difficult and toxic personality types.  Sometimes we even grew up around them.  Since this is a career blog, this article is concerned with narcissistic behavior in the workplace.

 

Characteristics

The characteristic of a narcissistic (NPD) person are:

• Self-centered, with a highly inflated sense of self
• Controlling / Bullying
• Lacks empathy
• Critical, i.e. invalidates other people’s views and contributions
• Exploitative (takes advantage of others)
• Jealous of others
• In some instances, grandiose 
• In some instances, charismatic

 

Such people can be very charming when they need something, which draws other people in.  The charm is, however, only on the surface.  It is after they get what they want or when things are not going their way, that the narcissistic (NPD) traits come out.  The ruthless, toxic, abusive side then comes out.

 

NPD in the workplace

The question is how does this personality dynamic affect one in the workplace?  Considering that one cannot just up-and-leave a job in the same way that one can leave a friendship or a family.   It then becomes best to learn how to deal with this dynamic as best as one can, when it comes up.  Removing oneself from the vicinity of the toxic person is not always possible at work – and at least not immediately.

 

Narcissistic Abuse

The favorite tools that a narcissistic person uses to exert control are:

• Persecution
• Gaslighting (denial)
• Manipulation
• Projecting (accusing you of what they themselves are doing)
• Lying and/or using confusing word salad when confronted
• Using other people to exert control, manipulation or persecution

 

Who Are The Likely Targets

You will most likely be a target of the narcissist if they are threatened by you.  So, while you are doing your best and trying to prove yourself, you could be a threat and attract an NPD person.  

According to research, people with NPD are likely to rise higher in business or corporate organizations.  This behavior is aligned with traditional corporate culture.  This sort of person is therefore highly likely to be your boss.  Maybe even your whole management team!  (I’m not laughing :-))

 

NPD traits vs Approved workplace behavior

Below is a mapping of  how  NPD characteristics align with typical corporate behavior:

 

Self-centered, with a highly inflated sense of self	Corporate culture values hyper-confidence – as it is seen as a sign of leadership.
Controlling / Bullying	Being a leader  involves a fair amount of controlling others and ‘bullying’ them where necessary
Lacks empathy	Business does demand a fair amount of emotional detachment.  Hence the adage ” nothing personal, just business “
Critical, i.e. invalidates other people’s views and contributions Jealous of others	Corporate culture is largely cut-throat and competitive, so critical, invalidating behavior would not be misplaced in that setting.  Jealousy also fuels competition.
Exploitative (takes advantage of others)	The more exploitative a person is, the more likely they would get more out of subordinates and meet tight targets.
In some instances, grandiose  In some instances, charismatic	A leader is viewed as more inspiring when they are slightly larger than life and charismatic

 

 

From the above table, it becomes clear that NPD behavior can be appreciated and rewarded – however inadvertently, in a corporate / business setting.  This means that you and I are going to come across a few narcissistic individuals in our business careers.    

 

Workplace NPD & your wellbeing

Experts acknowledge that narcissistic abuse can have a serious, long-lasting impact on one’s emotional and even physical health.  Think depression, self-doubt, heart attack, high blood pressure etc.

It is for this reason that one should learn the strategies to handle NPD abuse when it happens.

 

Coping mechanisms

Experts suggest three main coping mechanisms:

• Leave the toxic person/environment.   Although ideal, this is not always possible.  At least not immediately.  (This will eliminate the toxic situation).
• Gray-rock.  This means to give/show as little emotion as possible, and not to rise to the abusive bait of an NPD individual.  This helps you to attract less abuse than you would if you rose to every provocation.
• Pander to their ego.  Be their fan, people-please, and fawn over the narcissistic person.  A person with NPD is likely to cut you some slack if you pander to their ego.  (This doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook though)

 

Conclusion

Finally, a good way to withstand any abuse and toxicity that you will encounter in your life is to strengthen yourself.  Take care of yourself in your downtime.  Love yourself and take care of yourself.  This way, you will not be easily affected by negative factors in your environment.  When your cup is full,  you are more capable of shrugging many slights like water off a duck’s back.  Many, but not all!